Happy birthday my friend.. I'm sorry...

Today got piss off with my younger brother again... K let's not about him anymore... Totally pissed me off...!!  Guess what is today's date ? Its 21th January 2011 ....!!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABU...!! I send a birthday song to wish you but you ignore my message.. I know the reason why... Because of my facebook status and blog post right ? Deanna told me that '' if it carries, maybe ya'' , you'll contacting her, I don't think so..I know your '' maybe ya'' referring to don't contact me...  She even asked if I'm satisfied with that answer ?  Hais... I can't say anything already... Totally speechless....!! Abu, do you how much I miss you ? Ya I admit I had a crush on you and its hard to forget you... You give me the courage of not to give up so easily..You teach me how to stand up for my right.. You bought my smile most of the time.. You cheer me up when I'm down.. You are always there when I need you.. I know that I'm annoying and irritating to you.. You got pissed off by me easily.. You and me often quarrel but after awhile we back to normal... You see there's alot of memories.. Memories can't be erase off.. I knew the moments she say you contact her back, you'll change... I guess it correctly .. You seems to listen and cared and loved her but no one else.. So let it be.. Go ahead be happy... I'll be happy if I see you happy...But I'm sorry, I have to say this, I do believe you remember saying '' never trust /believe someone who is shy and quiet'' to me right ? I do get what you mean. I've seen it with my eyes... When I've seen it, I cried because you're been blind in love with her.. I don't think you understand it.. So never mind.. Let it be... You might blame me for the post and that made you hate me, by all mean.. I can't say anything much...Ya you're right, I'm too emotional and too ego... Ya this is me.. I can't possibly change within 1 day right ?  What ever I say or what ever I post or what ever I do is for sure I'm too be blame... I'm really sorry for all this cause.. I'm sorry for loving you too much.. I'm sorry for being mad over you... I'm sorry for any words I say to you...I'm sorry for making you angry.. I'm sorry for posting status.. I'm sorry for the things that I've done... I really hope you'll forgive me.. I really don't lose you as friend... I'm really very sorry... I just don't want to lose you my friend... Please do forgive me, abu... You're my special brother/ friend that God gave me... I really apologize my friend... 

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Go ahead n be Happy...!!

Please lah, so what if ur sayang is pretty outside but dirty inside ..!! Faster go get married lah if u scared to lose her ! Bodoh ! Get lose from my sight bustard and slut ! I don't deal with arrogant people like you...! try to think back where we are dead last ! KNCB ! N u bitch now he listen to whatever u say instead of me...! U happy now ? Satisfied now ?!! Why are you so scared he might listen to me more ? Why are you jealous ? Please lah who care if he leave or stay.... Just don't control him bitch !! I know him better than you..! Go back to where you belong..! Don't try to seduce this guy..! PAHAM !?!?!?! Sundal tu kau, kau tu sundal, popan sundal tu kau lah bodoh!!! Go ahead n be happy ... don't come to me when u need money.. go ask from her instead.. You think I like to fight with you is it? You think I wanna say bad things about you is it ? You think I want to stop you from loving her ? You think I like seeing you be like this ? You think I wanna us be seperated ? THE ANSWER IS ~ NO...!!! ~ Just think why do I care so much for you when all you do is ignore me and do your own things ? Just think n think...!!!! I post everything about you but some people thought I'm saying about them...! My friend mistaken me for no reason. And I lost him as a friend. You happy to see me suffer is it ?  Do you know that I'm trying to be strong even though I'm crying and dying inside ? Past few days I sick, you know I'm sick,you saw but you cared ? When I asked you buy me cheeseburger, where you go ? You actually go n find her... She's too important to you is it ? Please stop giving me problem and stress...!! I had enough of being patience towards everyone...!! I am doing this because I've promised to mama that I'll take good care of you...! Do you know how sad it is when you choose to stop studying when you were only 15...! You can't even endure for 1 more year to complete secondary life...!! You used to look down at me as I'm the only child in EM3 n N.T stream..! But have you ever seen I gave up ? Till now I endure though sometimes I told myself that I just wanna stop studying, too stress..I never ever once give up..!! When I archive scholarship each year since I was in primary 5 till now, do you think I'm happy ? No I'm not !! Cos you say stupid people don't deserve scholarship..!! Its hurtful when you say that every time I received it.. You jealous that I might steal the love from our parent away.. Deep in my heart I never thought of doing that.. I'm just doing my part to keep our late mom proud of her child.. Each time I get, I'll give the money to either our stepmom or dad... Please think of what I did for you..! You may hate me by all means, I don't give a fucking care..!! If you are rude,I'll be rude to you too...!!! Sorry I've change..!! This is me..!! K bye !!!

My Blog Lyrics :)

*Chorus:
This is my blog,
My way,
My mind,
My say,
If you don't like it,
Get out go away,
Cause this is my site,
My crib,
My likes,
If you don't like it,
Get out of my site,
A place where I can hang out, (uh-huh)
A place where I can shout out, (my thoughts)
All the feelings I keep inside, (uh-huh)
I post it all on this site. (oh my god)

Verse 1:
When I go out and dress up,
People staring me like whats up?
Talking about me,
Hey shut up!
You want your teeth to come out? (no please)
Huh! Just like what I know, (huurrgmm)
You kental buah lemon, (what!?)
You heard what I say, You kental buah lemon!
If you don't understand what I'm trying to say,
Too bad this my song,
You don't have a say!

*Chorus

Verse 2:
I don't hate you,
You don't hate me,
I love you,
You love me,
I kentut you lari, (heh! What the hell)
YO FEEL THE THREAT!
If you wanna hate me, then hate me!
If you wana hit me, then hit me!
If you wanna kill, then kill me!
If you wanna be me, you can't be!
Hey try your best try your luck to kick my ass,
If you don't succeed let me slap your face,
Cause I don't believe in violence,
Change my mind kick your balls I say OLE!
Hey ole ole hey ole ole kau pi makan taik...(eh eh eh eh)
Hey ole ole hey ole ole kau pi makan taik... (eh eh eh eh)

*Chorus

uh oh uh oh! alright now, welcome to my blog,
uh oh uh oh! hmmmmm yeah, find out what I'm all about,
uh oh uh oh! I dunno what to sing,
uh oh uh oh! now I dunno what to rap,
uh oh uh oh! Serious! What uh oh uh oh?
uh oh uh oh! uh oh kau ar bodoh! Hahah!
OK! Well welcome to my blog,
urm.. u r a visitor,
please leave ur initials, ur link up so that I know who u r on my tag board,
my tag board is on the right side of this screen u lookin at, yup, scroll down abit and u'll see my tag board there. ok? be sure to do that! thank you!!
Cause This is my blog, my way, my mind, my say, if you don't like it, get out, get out, go away.
Cause this is my site, my crib, my likes oh! If you don't like it, get out, ooh, oh! Get out of my site...

Thank you, come again!

What I've learned about Friendship

1. I've learned that there are many good friends around, but true best friends are hard to come by.
2. I've learned that sometimes you love a best friend more than a boyfriend.
3. I've learned that a best friend is more important than a boyfriend.
4. I've learned that you can do something or nothing with a best friend and still have the best time.
5. I've learned that a true friendship has many memories, both good and bad, but all important.
6. I've learned that sometimes the most used part of a best friend is the shoulder you cry on, and the shoulder you are willing to lend.
7. I've learned that when a best friend is happy, you find yourself happy too, even when it has nothing to do with you.
8. I've learned that a best friend's family soon feels like your own.
9. I've learned that the only one who truly understands is a true friend.
10. I've learned that nothing ever sounds stupid, funny, or unbelievable to a best friend, and you never feel stupid saying whatever it is.
11. I've learned that sometimes it feels like a best friend is the only one who will ever care about you and think you are beautiful in your own way.
12. I've learned that you always have that something extra to give to a best friend in need, and can count on that in return.
13. I've learned that your heart is forever touched by a true friend, no matter how things end up.
14. I've learned that when your heart has been broken, a best friend is the best band-aid for it.
15. I've learned that a best friend will call you in the middle of the night to talk without thinking, and it's OK.
16. I've learned that in many cases, a hug and a kind word from a best friend is the only thing that helps get you through the day.
17. I've learned that a best friend would stick up for you no matter what the consequences are.
18. I've learned that best friends can sing at the top of their lungs and not worry about singing the wrong words or being out of tune.
19. I've learned that best friends stay up all night and on the phone for hours talking without even realizing it.
20. I've learned that a best friend can tell the difference between a silly crush, and more than that.
21. I've learned that sometimes a best friend is all you have.
22. I've learned that sometimes you wonder how she knew, but then you realize that's just how close you are.
23. I've learned that when you are true best friends, everyone else knows it.
24. I've learned that, most importantly of all, best friends will always be best friends, no matter what is happening in their lives, where they are, or what they are doing. A best friend is irreplaceable. This is the most important thing I could have ever been taught by a best friend

Thanks for being in my memories..

I'm crying as i'm writing this post.

I used to cry for u alot every night.

the fact tat me and u seldom in contact.

I wonder what went wrong?

I soon realize that u contact her back

Forget it. u seems forgotten me.

WHY ? WHY ?

why cant move on ?

still having your damn face in my mind?

i cant stop thinking about u.

really. oh my fucking god.

hard to believe this thing happen

As i remember u said there's no turning back for her

Since she choose zaidi over u.

And u say she is childish n has immature thinking

But what I'm seeing now its U're the one turning back to her.

In silent u are just waiting for them to break off.

So what happened to those day when she is with zaidi?

Who is there for you when U're down?

When U're sick, who actually care for u?

Did u like took me for granted..?

Do u really mean what u say?

Do you really appreciate me?

I'M JUST FAR TOO SPEECHLESS...!!

Now that u have her,

tats why u don mind not having me.

so i wont beg u back either.

since our frehshit is so fragile.

so then forget it.

u're leading ur own sweet life, with her.

i don't wanna bother u again .

since u also never call me or message,

then lets be strangers.

i really hate it to see tings ended up in tis ways.

i still love u, abu , in slient.

this love has never been share with others.

now not even u.

maybe to u, i mean nothing in ur heart.

but clearly i know, in my heart .

no one can ever replace u.

even if i am old, until i die.

ure still in my merories.

i'm hurt deeply now, u just don't care

love is drifting u away from me,

its over, me and you.

impossible , IMPOSSIBLE , impossible .

i realize crying cant release my pain anymore.

my heart's broken , lyk glass .

cant mend agian .

i tink now , i will be like what she did to u before.

Leaving me hanging in the air jus that like.

I don't wanna love someone again.

I too scared..

i hate

broken hearts cant be mend.

My tears drop as I keep thinking of how we used to be. I don't know why my tears drop, but i am sure of something. I was thinking about U. I can't help falling deeper and deeper for u, each time i see ur smile, hear ur voice.every single small tings u do, i would smile. but ever since u turn back to her, u began to fall in love with her, now u're like a total stranger to me. we seems not to know each other. i don't know how to explains this feeling, but for tat seconds, i am really scare. really really scare to lost AGAIN u even u're not mine. Its like I am like suffering from relationship problem. We were just friends but its just that couldn't let go of u. We did everything..I miss the u hug me,the way u kiss my lips. We shared every secret together. I sacrifice everything for u. i know its not worthy doing all this for the sake of someone who doesn't love u at all. but i cant help falling for u, maybe its time to move on and let go. can someone teach me how to be a women ? i didn't really want to think about u i just couldn't help it. sometimes I ask her how are u? are u sleeping well? eating fine? wad are u doing? i really hope u're fine there. although i'm letting u go,my hearts just couldn't bear to do so but i will be there for u always dropping a sms by hoping tat u're fine but it seems hard for me to click send . i will pretend not knowing anything. i know u well. i know u wont drop me a sms either when all of ur mind is think about her. so i am like wasting my time hoping for anything!

I see your face in my mind as U walked away

'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way

People are people.

And sometimes we change our minds

But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie

It's the kind of ending I don't really want to see

'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring me down

Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe without you,

but I have to Breathe without you,

but I have too...

Never wanted this, never want to see myself hurt

Every little bump in the road

I tried to swerve

People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe without you, but I have to

Breathe without you, but I have to

It's like I just lost a friend

Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me

It's like I just lost a friend

Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

OhI can't breathe without you, but I have to

Breathe without you, but I have to

Breathe without you, but I have to

Ohhhh Abu I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

I'M DOING THIS FOR HER & U..!.

U're happily chatting with her on phone now while i'm crying alone in my room.

ur life is fine now, i don't wanna mess his life again .

i know me and u are impossible.

i am trying real hard to forget about u ,

i still cant bear to delete those msg we used to share.

looking at those msg it still makes me wanna drop a tear.

but i promise myself tat i wanna learn to be brave.

i don't wanna cry over u again .

and i wanna move on to a better life.

i haven been moving on , have u ?

i bet in ur life,don even have me.

u don't even rmb me, and those msg u must have deleted too.

but i can understand y.

u just don have the feeling that i have towards u .

thank you for being not once but TWICE in my memories.

because of u, makes me stand up for my rightness.

makes me began to love to be alone.

tats u, and y i love u .

farewell my used to be close fren ?

i'll forever rmb u , and u'll forever be in my life.

never gonna forget u .

and i really do miss u alot.

until now, i still miss u.

shed tears for u.

tinking of u at late nite.

i still love u.

but i already lose the courage to contact u,

i am no special to u.

thank you.

did u ever even once miss my msg to u ?

i don tink u will .

Take good care of yourself when I'm not around anymore.. Cause I know she'll make you smile, and your love for her will never ever fade...I wish all the best for you... Deeply in my heart i love u... Thanks for everything Abu.....

Egokah aku....??

Ku? tak pernah merasa Gundah di hatiku, Ketika denganmu Saat kau, Kau belai rambutku Kau temani aku, Kau basuh lukaku Kini semua berlalu Karena engkau tak memilihku Salahkah aku mencintaimu Walau kutahu kutak dihatimu Egokah aku memilikimu Walau kutahu kau tak memilihku Kuharap tuhan cabut nyawamu Agar tak ada yang milikimu Sadarkah kini ku tak rela Iman ku telah sirna Mimpiku tak nyata Kini semua berlalu Karena engkau tak memilihku Salahkah aku mencintaimu Walau kutahu kutak dihatimu Egokah aku memilikimu Walau kutahu kau tak memilihku Kuharap tuhan cabut nyawamu Agar tak ada yang milikimu Kuharap tuhan cabut nyawamu Agar tak ada yang milikimu